Anniversaries, Mud, and Polyface Poop

Anniversaries 

 As I sit here today while Matt is at work, I am thinking about our marriage, and the 13 years that includes.  Despite the advice of others we got married at the age of 20, and had our first child at the age of 22.  It was our "plan" to follow, and it worked!  I realize that we need to have goals, and we should set them high, but things don't always go according to our plans.  There have been highs and lows, but there has never been a doubt that the marriage we created would ever be broken.  It takes work, and we have been up to the challenge from day one!  Marriage is a wonderful and amazing experience, that takes a lot of work sometimes, but I am so thankful that our decision on marriage was the right plan we were supposed to follow.

Mud

This past year we went outside of our comfort zone and set many goals for ourselves and our family.  It is good to get a little dirty in the mud sometimes to make you realize important life issues and to bring a deeper understanding to many aspects of life.  Not only did we get dirty in the actual mud, but we worked hard and got muddy in a mental way as well.  We stepped out there, got a little muddy, learned a lot, watched our own "plan" unfold, but came out with a new understanding and a fresh look at life's "plans."

Polyface Poop

As some of you know, one of the major decisions we made this year (along with creating The Homestead Harvest LLC) was that Matt applied for the Polyface summer internship.  This is something we would have never imagined doing before!  We always tended to play it safe and didn't want to rock the boat.  The "what ifs" always came to mind and we felt safest to just stick to what we were doing because that was good enough.  But was it?  We know what we are passionate about, and what we want for our family.  It was time to step up and do something to create the environment we crave.  It wasn't going to be handed to us.  Doing what we were doing was good enough, but it really wasn't fulfilling.  In comes the Polyface Poop.

Our new adventure began when we decided to share our passion for heirloom, chemical free produce from our garden.  We had been gardening this organic way since we moved into our first house, but finally decided to share what we know with others in 2013.  (Thank you to all of those who supported, encouraged, and bought our produce that first summer!!)

Then something caught our attention.  The application process for the summer internship at Polyface Farms with Joel Salatin was quickly approaching.  Before our new adventurous side made itself known in 2013, we would have never considered this an option!  The "what ifs" always reared their ugly heads and held us back.  And so I marked the date on the calendar to remind me to remind Matt to send in his email of intent to apply.  He emailed his intent and he received his application questions.  He had about one month to answer those questions, and with the encouragement and support friends and family we were on our way to immersing ourselves into the passion that has become this family of four's dream.

As the summer went on, our garden soon no longer produced the abundance it was, and life slowed down as we lessened our time in the garden and waited to hear from Polyface to see if Matt would be on his way to the two day intern check out process.  I remember I was having a rough day, and was emailing Matt while he was at work about the simple stresses of every day, and really just not feeling up to the challenge of wife, mother, teacher, friend, and the multitude of other titles I have in my life.  I was overwhelmed!  The response I got from him that morning was a forwarded email from Polyface telling him he was one of 50 selected out of 269 to join Joel and the Polyface team for a two day intern check out!  Wow!!  All those silly little stresses seemed to melt away!  We were over the top excited!  I told the kids and I should have taken a picture of the expressions on their face!  They were SO excited!  As the excitement settled (although it never exited this house completely) we found ourselves in the midst of more plans!

What next?  All sorts of "what ifs!"  First came the plans on travel, lodging, and the logistics of going to Virginia.  We decided we would all go together and drop off Matt at Polyface for his two days while the kids and I would explore the area of Staunton, VA, because "what if" Matt was going to be there for four months!?

The time finally came and we were on the road.  With struggles of icy roads and delays in travel it was a symbolism in our life that we do have to get "muddy" and go through struggles physically and mentally to come out stronger and more prepared.  Arriving to the farm on December 9, I remember seeing Joel loading wood into the outdoor wood stove with his three beautiful grand children running around the wood pile.  It is an image that will forever be in my mind.  It was absolutely beautiful and what I dream of for our family.  (Our own kids wanted to get out and play too!)  Matt was told to drop his belongings off at the housing for the applicants, so we drove up the road and said our good- byes.   My heart was racing with excitement as we drove away from the sights and sounds I long for in my life.

I took the kids to The Depot to eat dinner, and I enjoyed a Polyface burger.  It made me tear up knowing that Matt would be eating this amazing food for 48 hours, and that he would be living his dream!  It makes me feel selfish and ignorant that we have never had the courage to pursue our dreams before and yet so happy that we were here in our lives finally and Matt was doing what he loves!  I knew he would be having the time of his life for 48 hours, but I did miss him.  Thinking about him being there for four months through the summer made me sad, but I knew it would be totally worth it because of the experiences he would gain, and I felt like we would all be stronger because of it.  For the next two days my mind was full of "what ifs." 

Picking Matt up was overwhelming.  I was so excited to be back on the farm,even though I was just sitting in the car.  I wanted to see him so bad, I wanted to know everything about everything that happened, but I also felt sad that this might be the last time he walked through the doors of that house, or walked down that dirt road.  The kids and I were reading Charlotte's Web as we waited for Matt to end his day's work and pack his things back into the car.  I remember sitting there with the windows cracked, even though it was freezing, so we could hear the cows moo.  Again this made me cry to think about the wonderful lives these cows are living, along with the other animals on this farm, as compared to the average American meat animal, and how I desperately wanted to be a part of this movement, whether by Matt making the summer internship and him being fully immersed in it, or if he didn't make it to be able to come home and continue on full force with The Homestead Harvest.  The car ride back to the hotel was intense as we all had question after question for Matt about his experience.

Still to this day I find myself asking Matt questions about his experience at Polyface.  It never gets old to hear the wonderful stories he has.  What an experience!! I still can't believe that I was there.  I really can't believe Matt was there, walking those fields and mountains, eating at their dinner table, being a part of their family and farm team for 48 hours.  It really was a very rewarding experience.

I am so proud of Matt for applying!  I am so proud of our little family for going after our passion and stepping out of our comfort zone to do what we truly care about.  It brings me back to our marriage 13 years ago, and hearing people say it was not a smart idea to get married at the age of 20.  Those people are not us!  With the not so kind remarks we received for wanting to have this adventure to go after our passion, it again makes me think about the ultimate "plan" for our lives.  We can only plan so much ourselves, and we need to listen to our hearts, and not always the advice of others.  We went against the grain again, and we are very happy we did!

The waiting was the hardest part!  The email came.  Matt would not be going back to Polyface for the summer.  It was a hard day for the whole family!  It still gets me emotional.  With no negative feelings towards Polyface for their decision, we felt like we were back to square one.  Now what?  We really had a lot to think about if Matt was going to be there for a whole summer, so those thoughts had consumed our minds for about 4 months!  There was no real thoughts behind the idea that he wouldn't be there.  Things would be just as they are now.  With such thoughts consuming your mind for an extended period of time, your dreams get a little crushed to hear the news.  Moving forward we can see the positives that have come from this experience!  We are thrilled Matt was able to be there for two days!  We are excited to see what will come with this next year of working as The Homestead Harvest!  And we have seen that even if our own plans don't go the way we want, that is ok, and life will unfold in a positive way if we keep our heads up, follow our dream with guidance from above, step out of our comfort zone, set our goals high, and just keep learning!

"Success is the sum of small efforts - repeated day in and day out."  -Robert Collier (author)

So begins another waiting period in our lives.  Today with our anniversary, we will wait for yet another anniversary to roll around next year.  As I have waited to wash Matt's clothes he wore for those two days because I love seeing them in a pile on our bedroom floor covered in the mud and cow poop that is a part of Polyface, I will wash them today for the first time as I am finally ready to move on, never forgetting, and yearning for the possibility to be on that farm again at some point for an educational experience.  Today marks the day we will wash off the Polyface Poop and move forward with our goals, plans, and dreams following where that may lead us!

Thank you to Joel Salatin and the whole Polyface Team!  We look forward to following where life leads us here at home with the inspiration of Polyface ever present in our minds!  And thank you to all of those who encourage us along our adventures!  I love you Matt!  Happy Anniversary!

As I sit here and re-read what I have written, I took a quick break to check my Facebook news feed and take a break from my own words.  There on the top of my news feed is a new post from Joel himself.  I leave you with these encouraging words in a note from Joel.